


Bitter and the Sweetness ☥ Frerard

by frnkthednktnk



Category: Frank Iero and the Future Violents (Band), Frank Iero and the Patience, Gerard Way and the Hormones, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Asshole Gerard Way, FTM Frank Iero, Frank Iero Is A Sweetheart, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Romance, Trans Character, punk gerard, soft frank iero
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:28:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22581034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frnkthednktnk/pseuds/frnkthednktnk
Summary: Frank Iero intrigued Gerard Way, and Gerard was going to do everything he could to get close to the sweet, little choir boy.(honestly the prologue is much better than this shitty description lmao)☥frank is trans in this (ftm)☥frank loves choir☥gerard is like punk yaknowthis is me projecting onto frank lolz
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 13
Kudos: 63





	1. ☥Prologue☥

From the first time Gerard bumped into him and looked inside his shocked, hazel orbs after helping him gather his things that were knocked down, to the times he watched him laughing with his friends at lunch, he felt there was something off and different about Frank Iero. Not particularly in a bad way, but in a good way that just wouldn’t let him get his mind off of the short, sweet, and timid- yet outgoing- boy. 

Maybe it was the way Frank stumbled over his words and was always flustered while Gerard was talking with him. Or maybe it was the way he seemed so shy and afraid when he was by himself, but could be so energetic and loud around people he was close with. Whatever it was, Gerard was just intrigued. 

But instead of being a normal, decent human being and actually making real conversation with Frank, he flirted. Gerard flirted his way through everything. When he was uncomfortable he would flirt, when he was upset he would flirt, no matter who it was with. So when Gerard pulled out possibly one of the cheesiest pick up lines ever, he mentally smacked himself for being such an idiot right at the start. 

Instead of saying something along of the lines of “Hey sorry I bumped into you, I’m Gerard,” He said, “Hey sorry, I couldn’t see where I was walking, I was just so blinded by your beauty. By the way, I’m Gerard.”

Although Gerard used the worst line ever, Frank still flushed a light shade of crimson, and stumbled out a shaky and quiet, “It’s okay, uh- I’m Frank.” 

Gerard had expected Frank to immediately become annoyed and roll his eyes at the worst kind of attempt to flirt, he didn’t expect him to see him react the way he did. And maybe that was another reason why Gerard was so intrigued by him; Frank was just so different from everyone else. So Gerard made up his mind; he was going to his way into Frank Iero’s life.


	2. ☥ Chapter 1 ☥

The bell had just rung, signaling for the class to end. Frank walked down the cramped corridor, managing to almost get elbowed in the face only twice. He made his way to his locker and stopped to open it and grab his things for his next hour. As people walked past him, he noticed someone standing next to him and smiling. He saw from his peripheral vision the boy that has been making his heart swoon and flutter for the past month, but only Frank knew that.

Frank turned his head towards the taller boy and smiled while closing his locker shut.

“Hey, y'know I was feelin’ a little off today, but then I saw you and you turned me on. How’d you manage to do that just by standing there?” Gerard said before Frank could even say anything to him, making Frank’s cheeks flush. 

Frank smiled sweetly and shook his head, “Shut up, Gerard. You’re so full of it. Stop being such a flirt, your pick up lines aren’t even any good.” 

“Yet they still have an effect on your pretty little face.” 

Gerard was right; they did still have an effect on Frank, but Frank wouldn’t ever let Gerard know how he really felt. For all he knew, Gerard was doing this to play around. That’s just what Gerard did. He flirted with everyone, so Frank had to make it apparent to the boy that he felt nothing, when in reality, Frank really felt something for Gerard. 

“Don’t call me pretty, Gerard. I can and will punch you in the face.” Frank said, and started walking away but groaned when he noticed Gerard following him down the hall. 

“I didn’t call you pretty, I called your face pretty. Besides, I know you can’t punch me, you’re too nice for that.” Gerard teased with a sly smirk playing on his face. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Then let’s change that.”

“No, Gerard.” Frank quickly stated as he stopped outside of the music department, a look of worry flashing over his face, “I’m gonna go now, class is about to start. You should go too, or you’ll be tardy.” 

“I don’t care about a little tardy. I wanna stay here and watch you move those lips of yours while you sing, and hear that soft, angelic voice.” The older of the two winked. Frank raised his book, about to hit Gerard but he cowered away. “Aw, you’re feisty, Frankie.” 

“I’m leaving, Gerard.” Frank said, going into the classroom, leaving Gerard outside with a small smile on his face.

Gerard stood there for a moment and thought of an idea.

He walked down to the office and opened the door, saying hello to both of the receptionists, then asked one of them, “Can I change one of my classes to choir?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii im so sorry this chapter is so short ): i tried making it longer and better but it just wouldn't work lmao, but i promise the next chapters will be much longer. i'm aiming for around 500-1000 words in the future chapters, so i promise they'll be longer once the plot starts developing more (and i already have it figured out so it won't take long (; ) i really hope u guys enjoy this more once i get the other chapters written and published !! (: xøjasper


	3. ☥ Chapter 2 ☥

The school day went by quicker after Frank’s choir class was done, it seemed. And for the rest of that day, Frank didn’t see Gerard around at all. He didn’t know if he should be more relieved or worried about that.

As soon as Frank got all of his things from his locker, he walked out of the back door of the school and made his way home. The walk from the school to his house took around only five minutes, but on cold wintery days like today, it felt like an eternity. 

His shivering frame made it to the doorway of his home as he pulled his key from his coat pocket. With shaky fingers, he unlocked and opened the door as quickly as he could, then went inside, letting out a shaky breath as he was engulfed into the warm atmosphere. His dog, Sweet Pea, was jumping and barking happily at the presence of Frank.

He smiled and kneeled down next to her, and she immediately quieted down, and rubbed her head against the side of his thigh. He put his hand out, which made Sweet Pea move her head from his thigh to his hand, and happily rubbed her cheek against the palm of his hand. 

“Hey pretty girl, I missed you today.” He said softly, giving her soft pats. He took his hand off from her head and stood up, taking his bag to his room. Since his mom wasn’t home yet, he just kept his door open as he changed his clothes. 

He pulled off his shirt, looking in the mirror at himself and frowning. He truly hated his body. He hated that he had to wear that damned binder. Yes, it made his chest flat, but it was so  _ uncomfortable _ . It was constricting, tight, and made it hard to breathe. 

“All for a flat chest,” he said aloud while shaking his head, “it shouldn’t have to be this way.” 

He sighed, starting to take his binder off. It was always a struggle for him though, due to the lack of stretch the binder possessed. He was breathing heavily as he flung it over his head, finally being able to let himself breathe normally. 

Frank was looking in the mirror with disgust and hatred. This wasn’t who he was. This wasn’t who he should be. But the fact that this was his body, made him hate his existence even more. The fact that his breasts were just a little above average didn’t help anything. Maybe if they were below average, it wouldn’t be  _ as _ bad. But God said, “No, let’s make things as hard as we can for our dear, Frank Iero!”

He took off his pants next, looking at the Batman boxers he stole from Target when he was with Jamia. He smiled at the memory, but it turned into a sad smile at the thought he had to  _ steal _ his boxers, because his mother would never buy them for him. 

Frank looked around his small and slightly messy room for a shirt. He found a Metallica shirt on his floor and decided it was clean enough. He pulled it over his head and then looked at himself. His shirt was maybe a little bit oversized, as it went all the way to just above mid thigh. But that was normal for him. Normally he would’ve worn a size small, because of his small frame, but he always got shirts in a medium. 

He found a pair of black sweatpants flowing out from his drawer, and pulled them on. He heard the front door open, so he took his binder and shoved it to the back of one of his drawers. 

“Frances, you home, honey?” He heard his mom yell and he sighed sadly at the use of his deadname. He would never correct her though, not wanting to provoke yet another fight about his gender.

“Yeah, I’m in my room.” He yelled back, walking out of his room to the kitchen where his mom and Sweet Pea were.

“Sweet Pea needs food.”

Frank grabbed the little bowl and brought it to the back room where the dog food was, with Sweet Pea following him excitedly. He filled the bowl and brought it back out, setting it back down as his hand was almost attacked by the small dog because of how excited she was to eat.

He went back to his room and shut his door. Frank opened his record player and pulled out one of his favorite vinyls; Born To Die. Lana Del Rey was always one of his favorite artists, from when he was actually a little girl.

The first track started playing softly and he smiled. He turned it up enough to where he wouldn’t blow out his speakers too much, but to where he couldn’t hear anything going on outside of his room. He moved his clothes out of the way to make a pathway to his bed, and he plopped down, laying on his stomach. Frank opened his phone and logged into his instagram. He looked at his notifications and saw someone followed him. He checked the username and it read, “g.weezy”. He clicked on their profile and his eyes widened, it was Gerard. 

Gerard Way followed Frank Iero on his most embarrassing instagram account. The account where he talks about how hot band members are to ranting about how his mom hates him for being trans. He thought about removing Gerard, but thought that it wouldn’t really do much now that Gerard has probably looked through his profile. 

He went back onto his feed and saw he had a message request from Gerard. 

The message read, 

_ hey there, frankie (; _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii !! im super happy with this chapter, more than i am with my other ones, honestly. i tried as hard as i could to make it longer and its crazy how much longer this one is compared to the other. i think this one is around 952? while the other one is like 400 somethin lmao. i started writing it yesterday i think and i wrote the majority of it today in my advisory class lmao. anYway i hope u enjoyed it ! (: xøjasper


	4. ☥ Chapter 4 ☥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -unedited-

Frank stared at the message, then typed out his response. It was a very _very_ uninteresting and simple, 

_hi._

Frank didn’t receive a message back straight away, so he went on to do something else. He sat up off his bed after a little bit of going through his feed, he walked to his record player, turning it off, but kept his vinyl in, then grabbed his favorite thing in the world; Pansy. He then went to sit back down on his bed.

His guitar was his most prized possession. He loved it with all of his heart. In some weird way, his guitar was always there for him. When he was sad, he would play Pansy. When he was super happy, he would play her. He practiced his favorite riffs from his favorite bands on her, and once he mastered them, he would play them over and over again, until his mom yelled at him to turn it down. He’s even written some of his own favorite riffs on her. 

He thought she was _beautiful_ . Call it a weird obsession, but Frank loved his guitar dearly. From the way his stickers were placed just a little bit imperfectly, to the blood smears on his fretboard, and to the uncut strings on the head from when he had to restring her, he thought she was _perfect_. Frank always loved the little imperfections on her, he thought that’s what made her, her. 

Frank smiled as he held her, he always felt so happy when he was around his guitar, because of how much he could play on her, without it sounding similar to anything else he can play. He grabbed his cable from off his floor, moved all the small things from his amp, and plugged everything in, making sure to turn up his amp, and the nobs on Pansy. Then he sat back down on his unmade bed. Frank reached down to grab one of his notebooks from the ground, and picked up a pen from his nightstand

He started playing one of the recent songs he’s been writing, Stage 4 Fear of Trying. So far, all he has is the title, the rhythms and chords, but not lyrics just yet. As he played, he played some different versions, and tweaked it to the new ones he liked. 

He played around, mindlessly creating random riffs when his phone vibrated. He looked down and say he had a text from Gerard. His heart started beating faster as he began to feel butterflies in his stomach, all from a simple text message.

 ** _g.weezy:_** _aw cmon frankie, don’t be so dry ):_

Frank almost felt bad for his message being so lame, so he decided to write out _another_ dry, and lame message back.

 ** _frnkieromustdie:_** _no._

This time though, he instantly got a message back,

 ** _g.weezy:_** _dang ): got a period and everythin_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _don’t worry, u won’t be like this for long (;_

 **_frnkieromustdie:_ ** _and what makes u say that ?_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _because im gonna make sure of it_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _soon enough, you won’t be able to resist me_

Frank laughed at that; if only Gerard knew Frank _already_ can’t resist him, and it’s all an act, because Frank’s scared. He’s scared what’ll happen if he gets too close to Gerard. As stupid as it sounds, it’s true. He was afraid of what Gerard would think of him once he knew _everything_ about him, like he said he wanted to. 

Frank hated that he cared what people thought of him, he was always taught not to care, but with a case like Frank’s, he always did. He tried so desperately to have the mindset of, “If people don’t like me for me, then fuck them.” But Frank didn’t work like that. He wanted people to like him, to see him as just a cool _dude_ \- 

Frank was brought out of his thoughts as his phone vibrated again,

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _c’mon frankieeeee don’t leave me on read, i know u want to talk to meeeee, and u know it’s true_

Frank shook his head and smiled.

 **_frankieromustdie:_ ** _it might just be a little bit true_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _i knew it !!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!1111_

 **_frankieromustdie:_ ** _why must u be so extra with all those exclamation points?_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _because without extraness, being a human being is just useless_

 **_frankieromustdie:_ ** _damn guess i’ll die ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _noooo frankieeee i didn’t mean it like that_

Frank always blushed whenever Gerard called him Frankie, no one ever did except for his best friend, Jamia. But when Gerard said it, he felt butterflies in his stomach and his cheeks would heat up. But why? Why for someone like Gerard? 

Frank supposed he wasn’t necessarily a _bad_ guy, he was just hung up on the thought that he flirted with literally everyone and anyone. But Frank couldn’t help but feel a little special that Gerard decided to talk to him. He didn’t even understand why he wanted to, it’s not like the first time they met was anything special, it was just Gerard accidentally running into Frank. But ever since then Gerard would constantly go to Frank and desperately try to get himself into everything Frank was doing. 

**_frankieromustdie:_ ** _lol i know, i was just playin with u_

 **_frankieromustdie:_ ** _i don’t wanna die anyway_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _good._

 **_frankieromustdie:_ ** _sooooO_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _i gotta go frankie, i’ll see u tomorrow, sweets_

 **_frankieromustdie:_ ** _bye gerard. also don’t ever call me sweets again, i will actually throw a brick in ur face_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _no u wouldn’t, sweets (;_

 **_g.weezy:_ ** _adios <3 _

Frank smiled at the messages from Gerard, he just couldn’t stop. How could he when someone like Gerard would talk to him like this?

Frank found himself in a bit of a predicament that night. He didn’t want to get close to Gerard, but at the same time he did. What was he going to do?

“Jamia, I need your help.”


	5. ☥ Chapter 4 ☥

“Holy shit, _Gerard Way_ found your instagram?” Frank’s best friend, Jamia, exclaimed as they entered their first hour together, and after Frank finally explained in depth as to exactly why he needed help. 

The night before Frank called her but couldn’t really tell her much over the phone because his mother kept nagging at him to do the dishes. So after he sent a glare towards the door, and a few snarky comments he had to tell Jamia his goodbyes and went to put the dishes away.

The pair of friends walked to their normal seats in the back of the class and then put their books and computers on their desks, then sat down.

“Yeah, dude. I got home and there it was: _g.weezy_ ,” Frank told, Jamia, looking at how her face scrunched at the username Gerard chose, “I know, his username is super cheesy.”

“Dude his username sounds like he’s trying to be G-Eazy,” she chuckled lightly, “Did you look at his profile?”

Her question made Frank’s realize, _shit, I didn’t even stalk his profile_.

Jamia saw it in his face and she gave him a disappointing look, “Frankie, you didn’t even check his _profile_?”

“Well yes but no… I uh, I went on it to see the name and it said that it was Gerard. So _technically_ -“

“Don’t get all technical with me, Frank. You only looked at his name? Did you even read his bio?”

Frank’s cheeks flushed a slight pink color, and he quietly mumbled, “No.”

Jamia just looked at him with a blank stare, not saying anything. Although she didn’t even need to say anything, Frank could just read her face, and he sighed. 

“You want me to look at it right now?” Frank asked, making Jamia nod. 

Frank pulled out his phone, going into instagram and clicking on Gerard’s profile. Jamia took his phone from him and started reading Gerard's bio. It read, "i like my cat more than i like u... and i don't even have a cat."

"He's a total nerd." Jamia chuckled, making Frank want to read what it said.

"What's it say?” Frank questioned, now growing more curious as to what Gerard Way could possibly have in his bio. Jamia gave his phone back so he could read it, and when he read through it he couldn’t help but crack a smile. “He’s cute.”

The two words that fell from his lips made Jamia raise her eyebrows in shock. Frank Iero has _never_ used cute in describing _Gerard_ _Way_. It was always, “he seems like such a dickwad” or “he’s a major fuckboy”. Never anything along the lines of cute.

Frank looked up from his phone to face Jamia. He had a questioning expression as he asked, “What?”

“Dude, did you hear yourself? You called him _cute_.”

“What’s the big deal?”

“I- nevermind.” Jamia giggled and shook her head. The bull rang before either of them could say anything else.

The rest of the hour went by and neither spoke of Gerard. After that period though, they split to go their own ways, since they only have three classes together. So there Frank was, walking down the crowded corridor to his favorite class: choir. As usual, about three people stepped on the backs of his shoes. He’s not quite sure whether they did it on purpose or if it was accidental, but he didn’t care enough to turn around to see who it was anyway. On his way there he saw Gerard walking the opposite way. They caught each other’s sight, and Frank flushed a light shade of pink as the older boy threw a wink and a smirk towards him. 

Frank made it to the music room and entered, taking a seat at his usual spot in the middle row where the altos and tenors were usually sat. The bell rang, making everyone take their seats. No one really sat next to Frank, leaving two empty chairs next to his. He didn’t mind though, he didn’t really like being close to his other classmates while singing. Yeah, he loved choir and singing, but hearing his actual voice and the thought of others hearing his voice didn’t really appeal to him. Especially since he was an alto. The _only_ boy in that section. He desperately wanted to be in the tenors- maybe basses if he could have his way and have a deeper voice- but he couldn’t, his voice just didn’t go down to that range, no matter how bad he wanted it to go down. But amongst all of that, he appreciated even being able to be in choir, and where his teacher had him seated.

Frank was brought out of his trance when his teacher had asked everyone to stand to start their warmups. Warmups were always his favorite part of choir, because that was really the only time in the day where he could properly stretch his aching limbs. Plus, his teacher always had them doing new and silly sounding vocal warmups.

The class did their normal warmups when suddenly the teacher stopped playing the melody. Frank started really paying attention as to what was happening when his teacher began to speak.

“Ah, Mr. Way, you finally decided to join us.” Frank groaned internally at the name he spoke and looked over to the door. And of course there _he_ was. “You do have a pass with you, right?”

“Nah, I didn’t come from anyone’s class.” Gerard said slyly then said in a fake posh accent, “Where shall I sit, sir?”

“You’re gonna be marked tardy for that then. You can go sit with the tenors and altos; in one of the seats next to Frank. I’ll have to talk to you about testing your voice range at a different time.” Their teacher announced, making Frank’s breath hitch. _Of course_ their teacher put Gerard next to Frank. _Of course_ the universe did this to him. At this point, Frank was fully convinced that _something_ or _someone_ put a curse on him. 

Frank kept an eye on Gerard as he walked his way over to his new seat. Gerard kept the smuggest expression on as he did. Once he made it, Gerard kept an eye on Frank, with that small stupid smile that never strayed from his lips. His gazed burned into Frank, which made the shorter boy look up at him.

“Hiya, Frankie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! sorry it took so long to finish this chapter and put it up ): i've just had a major writer's block this past month. and in that month i've tried picking at it and wrote little by little, and it's crazy cause i thought that with this whole coronavirus thing goin on, i would have more time to write! and i do, i just couldn't get rid of that writer's block. but i'm hoping it's gone now that i have this chapter finished and up. something happened a couple nights ago that really inspired and motivated me to finish the rest of this chapter, so even though it was a bad thing, i'm glad it happened lol. this chapter is 1067 words, but it still seems super short ): so i'm sorry about that. but i hope you enjoy ! and i'm hoping to get started on the next chapter very very soon cause i have some ideas that just need to be out already! adios, stay safe <3 xoj mwah


	6. ☥ Chapter 5 ☥

“Since, uh when did you join choir?” Frank asked quietly as the teacher began warmups once again.

“Since yesterday when I asked to have my schedule tweaked.” Gerard said, making Frank think. 

“But I thought they weren’t allowing any more switching?” Frank questioned, a puzzled look upon his face, which made Gerard’s heart absolutely melt because of how innocent and _adorable_ he looked.

“Well yes- but I failed art in the first semester, and I was still in it but I made a deal with the principal; if I’m put into choir then I’ll actually try and pass it, unlike art.” Gerard explained.

That made Frank wonder. Everyone- and when I say everyone, I mean _everyone_ \- knew that Gerard was a talented artist. Possibly the best in his grade. How did he fail art?

The answer is actually quite simple; Gerard just didn’t want to do the work the art teacher assigned. In his defense though, who really wanted to draw assigned things? He’d much rather be drawing pictures of zombie-cats, vampires and aliens way more than drawing a bowl of fruit. 

So when he was given the job of drawing a simple still-life picture of a coffee mug, he decided he would spice it up in his own way. And in his way, I mean taking the time to draw a much too complex pencil sketch of a mug on a table. Around said mug were a bunch of ghosts and demon-like creatures scaring old men and women in a nursing home. He managed to make the background look like it came from a zombie apocalypse with all the destruction done to that one room, all from the spirits. Another thing in that photo was the window you could see in the backdrop. Outside of that window were tons of UFOs, all abducting cows. 

But overall, that single coffee mug was still there, so _technically_ he did the project and _technically_ he should’ve gotten a good grade for that one but no. His teacher had told him that it was a very wonderful and creative piece, but it didn’t match the criteria. All because it wasn’t _simple_. Simple his ass. Gerard Way didn’t do simple. Never has and never will.

The two boys didn’t talk didn’t talk much after that, in fear that they would be moved away. Well, Gerard was only afraid of being moved away from Frank. In all honesty, he wasn’t expecting to be this lucky and have his seat right next to Frank’s.

And Frank was only afraid of being called out by his teacher. He absolutely _dreaded_ getting called out by any teacher. He was by no means a teacher’s pet, he just liked to get his work done and make sure he wasn’t in the spotlight of attention, unlike some of his other classmates who do the weirdest- but also funniest- things for a reaction. That was just their personalities though, Frank thought. So whatever crazy things his peers did, he went along and laughed with them and everyone else. 

Although Frank was quiet and kept to himself most of the time, he wasn’t necessarily disliked or bullied by anyone at his school. But when he did decide to open up more and be more social than he usually was (most likely with the help of Jamia), people enjoyed his presence. 

There were just certain classes where he didn’t really like being as social as he did in some others. Like choir. He was probably one of the quietest in his entire choir. 

So when the class was done with warmups and was assigned with identifying key signatures by themselves he was content. He liked practicing music theory because he wasn’t forced to have his voice be heard out. Frank thought everything was going fine until he felt a poke on his left shoulder.

“Frankie,” Gerard whispered, “I think I need some help with this.”

Frank looked over at what the older boy was referring to, seeing it was their practice.

“It’s the key signatures. You just gotta tell which key it’s in.” Frank explained.

“Yeah that’s gonna be a problem, I don’t exactly know _how_ to do that… Could ya help me?”

“I-” Frank took a shaky breath in, “yeah, sure.”

Gerard smiled at him, making Frank smile a little too and look down at his hand that rested atop his computer.

“Frankie, look up. I like seeing your pretty face.” Gerard stated in a sweet tone. It wasn’t in his usual playful and flirtatious voice. It made Frank’s cheeks flushed a light crimson and as he his heart rate sped up. He felt his palms start to get clammy. He couldn’t think of a snarky comeback though. He didn’t even _want_ to. 

Instead, he just looked up at Gerard as he received a charming smile from the older boy.

“Now, can you please explain to me what the hell key signatures are?”

  
After having to assist Gerard through getting through the entire world of music theory, their practice time was over. The teacher had given Gerard copies of the music that the class was working on for their fall concert and told him to just follow along with the tenors at this point. 

During the rest of the class they sang and practiced the songs over and over, and occasionally their teacher helped go over a certain part of the song that the whole class couldn’t manage to master by themselves. He made each voice section sing their parts one at a time, so when it came for the altos to sing Frank was 100 percent sure that Gerard heard his voice crystal clear. He tried to soften his tone so that he wasn’t heard _too_ much, but it was slightly difficult because he still wanted to support his section. And today wasn’t really a day he could get away with being quieter than usual; his choir was having a really good day and were consistently singing out and full, so he had to as well. 

But soon enough class ended and the bell rang. Everyone put their stuff away and left the classroom, but Frank and Gerard were one of the last ones left. Frank was only still in there because he didn’t have time to untangle his earphones before the bell rang. And Gerard, well he was only in there because Frank was in there. 

Frank was having some troubles untangling the mess as Gerard came up to him. Today was the one day that choir was the last class for them, so neither were worried about being late to a next class. Well, Gerard wasn’t worried either way, but Frank didn’t like walking in late to his classes. 

“Havin’ some troubles there, Frankie?” Gerard asked, watching Frank struggle for a minute.

Frank finally got everything untangled and situated then turned to Gerard, “Not anymore.”

Gerard smiled at him, then a thought struck him, “Hey, Frank. Do you wanna maybe come to the park with me today? It’s the one down the street from here, so it’s not too far-”

“I- I have to take care of my dog,” _and take my binder off_ , “so I can’t I-I’m sorry. Maybe another time though?”

Frank didn’t want to have to take his binder off if he went with Gerard, because then it would just be so much more obvious as to what his body actually was. He hated when people knew he was trans because then they just see him as something _different_. They still saw him as Frank Iero, the 15 year old boy. But they also saw him as Frank Iero, the 15 year old _transgender_ boy.

And he hated that. He hated that he was transgender. He wished he was cis. He wished he was Frank Iero, the 15 year old _cis_ boy. 

He did want to go with Gerard though, but he knew he couldn’t go longer with his binder on. It would screw him in the long run, and he really wanted to just be able to breathe for the rest of the day.

Gerard didn’t look upset at Frank’s answer though. He merely just smiled and said, “It’s okay, don’t even worry about it. We can definitely go another time.”

“Okay,” Frank sighed out in relief, “well I really gotta go now though, bye Gerard.”

“Bye, Frankie.” Gerard said as Frank put his headphones in and walked out of the room.

Frank walked down to his locker and grabbed everything he needed. Then he walked out of the school’s doors and headed home. 

The walk wasn’t nearly as bad as it was the other day, it was actually sunny but still chilly and there was still quite a bit of snow on the ground.

Only a couple of minutes later he arrived at his house and retrieved his key from his pocket. As usual, Sweet Pea was barking and getting excited at Frank’s presence which of course made Frank’s mood much brighter. 

He took care of whatever she needed before he went into his bedroom to get changed. Frank avoided all mirrors as he got dressed into a baggy t-shirt and some black sweatpants, of course with his wool socks that he got last Christmas. 

He layed in bed with Lana Del Rey playing from his record player, as usual. He loved listening to her after school because he just got to lay down and recollect himself after long days.

His mom got home a little bit after he did, and she made her presence known as she called out a, “Francine, I’m home, dinner will be done soon!”

He didn’t respond to her and just continued to lay in bed while on his phone. He checked all of his social medias, responding to anyone that commented on a photo or texted him. He stayed on his phone for a little bit when he decided to start writing down some lyrics that came to him randomly. 

“ _These frames have trapped all my better days. There they stay, frozen and unscathed_.” He wrote messily in his notebook. Frank loved when he got new thoughts for new lyrics, even if they were incomplete thoughts. He knew that he would turn them into bigger and complete thoughts. Some of his loose lyrics fit with each other while others didn’t. It didn’t bother him much though, he knew that the other ones would soon fit with others.

Soon his mom called him out for dinner, but since their kitchen table was always cluttered with stuff, he decided to eat in his room. He ate his dinner while on FaceTime with Jamia.

About an hour after he finished with his dinner, he felt something that was way too familiar for him to feel.

“Jamia, I gotta go do something, I’ll call you back later, okay?” He said in a rushed tone into his phone, “I think I just fuckin’ started.”

“Shit, Frankie. Alright, talk to ya later, bye.” Jamia said, voice filled with sympathy.

Frank hung up after saying his goodbye and then rushed into the small bathroom across the hall, but not before he grabbed a spare pair of underwear specifically used for _that_ _time_. He pulled down his pants and there it was. _Blood_. 

“Fuckin’ great.” He mumbled sarcastically.

He looked over to where his pads were kept and saw there was only one left. He grabbed it and got everything situated and washed his hands when he was done.

He walked back into his room and threw his boxers into his laundry basket. Frank put on an extra large sweatshirt over his shirt and walked out into the living room where his mom was.

“Can I get some money? I need to go to the store and pick up more pads and some snacks.” He sighed to his mom, grabbing her attention and putting a sympathetic look on her face.

“Of course, honey. You be careful though, it’s gonna be getting dark here soon.” Linda said as she pulled out a five and ten dollar bill from her purse, handing them to Frank.

“I will. Love you.” He said,taking the money and going to put on his worn out converse and walked out the door.

He walked to the nearest Walgreens and was glad to be met with a warm draft when he entered. Frank got the products he needed then walked to the snack aisle. He definitely wanted Munchies- the spicy ones- some cookies and-

“Frankie?” He heard his name called from a familiar voice, so he turned around.

There he was again, surprising him for what, the second or third time that day? It wasn’t until he realized what was going down in his pants when he realized what he was actually there for and what he was carrying in his hands. He immediately felt a wave of panic rush over him, but he tried suppressing it as much as he possibly could.

“Uh, hi Gerard.” He said breathily. He saw Gerard's eyes trail down to what he was holding and felt his hands clam up.

“Those for a girlfriend, Frankie?” Gerard asked, and Frank couldn’t miss the slight hint on disappointment in his voice, even though he was still trying to be as charming as ever.

“Uh what- no. No, no these are uh- for my-my sister. Yeah my sister…?” 

He saw Gerard’s features soften at the mention of a sister. “Oh, okay nice. Actually no, not nice that she’s going through a period because I heard that they really suck. But uh- so what’s her name?”

Frank didn’t have much time to think of a name so he looked around and saw a Jack and Sally figurine, since it was getting quite close to Halloween, so the first thing he could come up with was, “Sally. Yeah, my sister’s name is Sally.”

“Oh nice, okay well I guess I’ll let you get to it then…” Gerard trailed off, obviously wanting to say just one more thing though, “But uh, if she hasn’t already tried it, I heard that chamomile tea can help with the cramps.”

Frank smiled at him, “Who told you that? Do you have a sister too?”

Gerard shook his head, “No, no I have a kid brother- Mikey- but I had a girlfriend and she always had me make her that.”  
  
“Oh, okay. I’ll uh- tell my sister that then, thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll text you later then, yeah?” Gerard said, with his charming voice- that really made Frank’s knees weak.

“Yeah, okay.” Frank nodded and smiled.

The two exchanged goodbyes and Frank got the rest of everything he needed then quickly paid, thanking whatever Gods there were for the lack of a line in the checkout. 

He walked back home as quick as he could, buzzing with energy to just get back into his room and call Jamia back.

The walk didn’t take too long, so once he was back inside the security of his home, he put everything that he bought in their respective places then ran to his room- but not before he made his presence known to his mom- and plopped down onto his bed.

He pulled out his phone from his pocket and pressed onto Jamia’s contact, only three rings later she picked up.

“Jamia, you will not believe what just happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys ! can u believe it? two chapters up within two days!! sorry if u guys don't like longer chapters lol, this chapter is actually 2,560 words. wowza. anyway, i would like to just say that frank's dysphoria and thoughts about himself actually come from experience, so sorry if it ever just gets super duper deep. but i really hope u guys liked this chapter ! i'll hopefully be starting the next chapter tomorrow. adios ! xoj


	7. ☥ Chapter 6 ☥

“You still use only pads?” Was all Jamia said after Frank had explained to her exactly what had happened not too long ago at the store. 

“Jamia, shut up. That’s not even the point.” Frank giggled. “But yeah I do, what else am I supposed to use?”

“Tampons duh, dumbass.”

“Fuck that! I’m not losing my virginity to a goddamn piece of _cotton_.” Frank told her. Jamia was the only person that he was really comfortable talking to about _that_ kind of stuff.

“Dude you don’t lose your virginity from it.” She said in a voice that just screamed ‘duh’, “Anyway, so you told him you had a sister? You shoulda just gone along with the girlfriend.”

“He looked a little let down when he asked though, and when I told him they were for my “sister” it looked like he wasn’t, I dunno, worried almost?” Frank explained to his best friend, and took his water bottle that was sitting on his night stand.

“He wants your dick, Frankie.” Jamia bluntly stated, causing Frank to choke on the water he was _trying_ to drink.

He shook his head while trying to recover from his near-death experience as Jamia cackled at him. Frank came down from his fit of coughs and unattractive giggles, and flipped her off into the camera.

“Yeah well he’ll be very disappointed once he finds out that I’m kinda lacking one.” Frank laughed. Jamia was also the only person that he felt comfortable joking about things like that with. “You think if I take penis enlargement pills, I’ll just grow one? I’ve been thinking of trying it…”

“Frankie, no.”

“Frankie, yes-”

“Frances!” Frank heard his mom shout to him and he rolled his eyes.

“Gotta go, Jam. My mom needs me.” The boy said.

“What could she possibly want at 9 pm? To remind you of your bedtime?”

“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Frank scoffed, “I’ll call you tomorrow alright? I shouldn’t be doing anything tomorrow.”

“Okay, Frankie. Love you, mwah.” She said and hung up. 

Frank walked out to the living room where his mom was, sitting on the couch with the television on low.

“Yeah?” He asked, grabbing her attention and making her turn to him.

“I have to go into work tomorrow, so if you’re gonna be going anywhere can you text me first? It’s gonna be one of those days where I’ll come back but then have to in again.”

“It’s a Saturday tomorrow though, you never have to go on Saturdays.”

“I know, but I have to. Jamia can come over if you don’t wanna be alone.” The older woman said with a sad smile.

Frank nodded, “Alright. I’m going to sleep, so goodnight.” 

“Night, Frannie.” As the name left her mouth, he tensed but turned around to go to his room without saying anything else.

He shut the door to his room and plugged in his old Christmas lights, giving his room a subtle yellow-ish hue.

He wasn’t actually going to go to sleep. No, he was going to stay up till 3 am then he would be going to sleep.

He propped his pillow up against his headboard and sat against it, pulling his covers up to his waist. He turned his small flat screen TV on with the remote on the table beside his bed then grabbed his phone from beside the remote and pulled his knees up to his chest, turning on his phone and choosing Spongebob.

He saw he had messages on Instagram from Gerard and he smiled.

_**g.weezy:** hi frankie (;_

_**frankieromustdie:** hi gerard_

_**g.weezy:** whatcha doinnn_

_**frankieromustdie:** lol watching spongebob, wbu ?_

_**g.weezy:** aww how cute_

_**g.weezy:** i am currently drawing for my little brother’s comic book_

Frank smiled and awed at the thought.

_**frankieromustdie:** that’s cute, what’s it about?_

_**g.weezy:** a vampire falling in love with a zombie_

_**g.weezy:** idk mikey’s ideas are kinda weird lolololol_

_**frankieromustdie:** what’s it like having a little brother_

_**g.weezy:** used to be the worst thing ever when he was younger. but i actually like him now that he’s less annoying lol_

_**g.weezy:** although it is really interesting to hear about his 8th grade drama_

_**g.weezy:** what about u tho? how’s life with a sister?_

Frank furrowed his brow in confusion at Gerard’s question until he remembered his trip to the store not too long ago and groaned.

_Just another lie I have to keep up with. Guess I’ll just pretend I have a sister._

_**frankieromustdie:** i guess the same tbh, except yknow she’s a girl and deals with girl stuff_

_**g.weezy:** ooo anywayyyy_

_**g.weezy:** ya like jazz?_

Frank couldn’t help but let out a giggle at Gerard’s Bee Movie reference. It used to be his favorite movie of all time.

_**frankieromustdie:** woahhh r u barry b benson ???_

_**g.weezy:** pfft i wish_

_**g.weezy:** i’d love to sue the whole human race_

_**frankieromustdie:** fair enough, but would u sue because of the exploitation of bees like him_

_**g.weezy:** no… i would sue them because they allow animals to live on the streets by themselves_

_**frankieromustdie:** good cause. i’d help u sue them in that case_

_**g.weezy:** u can be the vanessa to my barry ;)_

Frank blushed with a grin on his face. His heart was racing and there were butterflies in his stomach, he let out a squeal- thankful that no one was there with him to hear it- and happily sighed, throwing his arms to his side and just staring up at his ceiling. He honestly didn’t know what to respond to that with, so he just slapped his keyboard and called thought it was a great response.

_**frankieromustdie:** i- asdkjfhsda _

_**g.weezy:** aww what’s that frankie?_

This time, Frank felt his whole body heat up at Gerard’s words. He didn’t know how Gerard could make him feel the way that he’s feeling, and he’s not even completely sure what he’s feeling towards the older boy. All he knows is that they’re not necessarily bad feelings.

_**frankieromustdie:** huh what idek what ur talkin about_

_**g.weezy:** u and ur shyness frank_

_**g.weezy:** ur even shy in messages, so fuckin cute_

At this point, Frank was sure his heart was only one beat away from jumping out of his chest. Before he could even respond, Gerard quickly texted again.

_**g.weezy:** i wanna see u. wanna meet me at the park by school tomorrow ?_

Frank didn’t even think before typing.

_**frankieromustdie:** i’d love to_

_**g.weezy:** awesome_

_**g.weezy:** 1 pm, don’t be late frankie ;) <3_

Needless to say, after the two boys exchanged a goodnight, Frank quickly texted Jamia about Gerard’s and his entire conversation, only going to sleep at 2:30 am with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii guys ! sorry it took like a month to get this out... woops. i've lacking motivation recently lol, but i wrote the rest!! it still seems like a short chapter to me, even tho it's 1134 words. do u guys like this length for a chapter? cause i'm thinking of making a goal for at least 2000 words per chapter. unless u guys like it around 1000. i'm trying not to do anything below 1000 cause that's just like way too short. anywayyy yeah i hope u guys like it !! feedback is always great to hear ! so if u guys have anything don't be afraid to say ((: thank u all for reading this though, it means a lot <3 have a great day mwah xoj


	8. ☥ Chapter 7 ☥

Frank woke up to the sound of birds chirping, and wind blowing through the few leaves that were still stuck on trees around his house as rays of sunlight tried to make their way into his room through his dark curtains.

He squinted his eyes and dramatically stretched and flipped his body around, getting caught in his blankets. He let out a loud sigh as the tension in his body vanished and at the cracking of his bones. Frank rolled onto his back and stared at his ceiling for a moment before grabbing his phone from under his pillow. He opened it and squinted at the brightness and it took a moment to let his eyes adjust. 

Once he was no longer blinded by the light, read the time at the top of his screen. _10:28 AM_. 

He decided that it’d be a good time to wake up considering he had to meet Gerard in a few hours. He smiled at the thought as he sat up from his bed, legs dangling over the side along with a blanket threatening to slip off from any type of movement the boy made.

Frank threw his blankets back onto his bed and stood up, stretching his arms over his head once more. He walked over to his curtains and pulled them open. He glanced outside to see that the snow that was once covering the ground was almost completely melted.

He heard Sweet Pea start scratching at his door trying to get in, so he walked over and opened it and she immediately started jumping at his legs.

“Hey pretty girl,” He smiled, leaning down and petting her, “what d’ya need?”

He figured his mom let her outside before she left, but that was around three hours ago so he followed her out to the kitchen where the back door was and let her outside. 

He knew Sweet Pea would run around and then just lay in the grass for a bit so he went into the bathroom. He quickly used the toilet, taking care of everything that he needed to. After washing his hands he took his toothbrush out from the cabinet and brushed his teeth. 

When he was done, Frank walked out to the kitchen and called for Sweet Pea to come back inside. She settled herself on her bed while Frank poured himself some cereal. 

He sat at the table as he ate and looked through his phone, deciding to play a game as he ate. After he was done eating and a few curses thrown at the spaceships that threatened to steal his virtual dog, Frank picked up everything and looked at the time for the second time that morning. _11:43 AM_. He was surprised to see he was playing a game for that long.

He walked back to his room with Sweet Pea following behind. She situated herself on his bed, curling up in his sheets, while he stood in front of his closet with the door open. He pulled his shirt off and quickly threw on his binder as he looked through the different shirts of his. Frank decided on a Black Flag shirt underneath his favorite Misfits sweatshirt. He then peeled off his pajama pants, and put on a pair of ripped jeans instead. He grabbed two mismatched socks from his laundry basket (that had clean clothes, he wasn’t that disgusting) and pulled them on. 

Frank couldn’t decide what to do with his hair so he settled with a red beanie. He smiled at himself and then opened his phone, going into Snapchat and sending a mirror selfie to Jamia. 

_**frnk:** jammie_

_**frnk:** how do i look_

She immediately opened his message and quickly replied.

_**jamia <3:** like a twink_

_**jamia <3:** lol jk. u look so handsome dude_

_**frnk:** hjasdkh tHANKS WHoRE_

_**jamia <3:** anything for u dummy <3_

_**frnk:** suck my toe bitch_

_**jamia <3:** alright baby boy get over here _

_**frnk:** dear god no, i was kidding_

_**jamia <3:** i wasn’t (;_

_**jamia <3:** actually yes i was, that’s gerard’s job_

_**frnk:** JAMIA NO_

_**jamia <3:** jamia yes_

_**jamia <3:** anyway when’s ur date with him again_

_**frnk:** it’s not a date_

_**frnk:** but it’s at 1_

_**jamia <3:** u better get goin frankie_

_**jamia <3:** don’t wanna leave ur mans waiting_

_**frnk:** dude it’s only 12_

_**frnk:** and it takes 5 min to get to the park from my house  
  
_ _**jamia <3:** oh yeah…_

_**frnk:** dumb nut_

_**jamia <3: **shut up stupid_

_**frnk:** no u <3_

_**jamia <3:** i will come over and beat ur booty_

_**frnk:** jokes on u i’d like that_

_**jamia <3:** nononononono _

_**jamia <3:** i gotta go frankie. evan’s trying to get into the knives again_

_**jamia <3:** pray 4 me pls_

_**frnk:** lmAO DONT DIE_

_**jamia <3:** no promises… _

_**jamia <3:** aNYWAY BYE ILY_

_**frnk:** ILY2_

Frank and Jamia’s friendship was always something super special, even right from the start. They got close in only a few months, and they’ve only gotten closer over the four years they’ve known each other.

One year in 8th grade, they had all the same classes as each other. It was great for them, but terrible for those teachers. The two of them would always get into trouble for talking or just being plain stupid. They would always laugh their asses off at lunch after talking about what had happened in class. Frank and Jamia were inseparable, it’s always been that way, and neither of them could see that ever changing. 

  
After an hour of looking on his Snapchat memories, Frank saw it was almost 1 o’clock. Two minutes before 1 to be exact.

He quickly- way too quickly- stood up from his bed and rubbed his temples after feeling the effect of lightheadedness. 

Frank made sure his hat was on the right way and grabbed his fingerless gloves, slipping them on. He then walked out of his room, calling for Sweet Pea to get off of his bed and then closed his bedroom door. He made sure Sweet Pea had enough food and water before going over to the front door.

Frank looked at all of the pairs of shoes piling up on the rug. They were all his, of course. Frank just really liked shoes. More specifically, Converse. He had about four pairs of Converse by the front door, and even more in his closet. But since it was already 1 o’clock, he wasn’t going to go through the ones in his closet, and instead slipped on a pair of black and white low-tops that were vandalized with sharpie. 

Frank said a way too long goodbye to Sweet Pea, giving her a kiss over and over until he looked at the time.

“Alright, I really have to go now Sweet Pea. I love you, dude. I’ll be back soon!” He exclaimed, reminding her _again_ that he loves her with all of his heart. 

He walked out of the front door and locked it, making sure he had his house key on him. Which he did, thankfully. 

The weather was actually nice. It was still chilly, but it was every October in New Jersey. The snow had completely melted from when he looked out his window that morning, he was really grateful for that. 

No matter how many years he’s lived in his town, and how much snow they’ve gotten over those years you would think that he would’ve been used to it, and he would pay no mind to it because of how normal it is. But no, Frank hates snow and the cold bite it brings with it. 

  
The walk only took around five minutes, like it usually does, and he arrived at the park. He saw Gerard sitting on one of the swings and walked over to sit next to him.

“Hi Frankie.” Gerard turned to look at him with a wide smile plastered onto his face. 

“Hi Gerard.” Frank said back with a small smile. 

“You’re late.”

Frank furrowed his brow and pulled out his phone, he couldn’t have been _that_ late. 

He was 10 minutes late.

“Sorry, I got a little distracted and lost track of time I guess.” Frank apologized, smiling at why he lost track. Sweet Pea always gets him distracted.

“It’s okay, Frankie. I was only playing with you.” The older boy said sweetly. “What had you lose track?”

“My dog…” He mumbled quietly, slightly embarrassed. 

“Aw, you have a dog?” Gerard asked in adoration, “I love dogs. What’s their name?”

“Her name’s Sweet Pea. I have some pictures of her, do you wanna see?” Frank always took opportunities to talk about Sweet Pea and show photos of her whenever he could. He remembers showing all of his teachers from freshman year a very specific photo of her, and he was planning on showing that specific one to Gerard.

“Of course I do.” Gerard said.

Frank pulled his phone out once again and went to his photos, going to the folder named ‘Sweet Pea <3’, because yes, he has a whole folder dedicated to her. He scrolled through, looking for it. Once he found it he showed Gerard the screen.

The taller boy moved himself on the swing to get closer to Frank as he examined the picture. The small action didn’t go unnoticed by Frank though, because as soon as they were only about five inches apart, his cheeks flushed.

“She’s really cute, Frankie,” Gerard wasn’t wrong. Sweet Pea was a really cute dog. She didn’t look like normal dogs though, she was special and unique, but that’s what made her so cute. 

The picture Frank showed Gerard was of Sweet Pea in Frank’s mom’s garden, striking a pose because she always somehow knew how taking photos worked. She was sitting up straight, looking off slightly to the side. There were colorful flowers all around her, making her stand out because of the contrast of her dark fur to the bright colors. What stood out the most was her tongue. It was always poking out of her mouth and onto the side. Frank took the picture at the best moment, and caught drool slipping out of her mouth from her tongue. It was disgusting and she drooled often, but in that photo of her, it was less disgusting than usual.

“What breed is she?” Gerard asked.

“I’m not sure honestly. I found her on the curb when I was walking home one day so I brought her home with me and cleaned her up. Whatever she is though, I really love her.” Frank explained the story, making Gerard’s heart feel almost complete.

Gerard looked at Frank and smiled, while the smaller boy put his phone away. Frank looked up at the other. When he met Gerard’s eyes he smiled back but looked down at his shoes.

Neither said anything for just a couple seconds, till Gerard spoke up.

“Wanna go on the playground with me, Frankie?” He asked, getting off of the swing and extending his arm out for Frank. 

“Of course.” Frank responded, taking Gerard’s hand. He got up and Gerard dragged up the small steps as his fingers curled around Frank’s hand. The younger boy’s fingers twitched in surprise of feeling Gerard’s larger hands engulfing his own. 

Frank was pretty tiny compared to Gerard. Frank was a gremlin, around 5’1, but Gerard was a giant that was 8 inches taller than him. It doesn’t sound like much of a difference, but seeing them next to each other would be like seeing a 17 year old next to and 11 year old. 

They both sat down on the cold platform, resting against the yellow metal bars, their hands still intertwined. 

Frank was slowly overcoming the nerves he felt around Gerard, which he was grateful for, but that didn’t stop his heart from beating fast due to their hands. Frank might’ve been overreacting, but he thought that it was just normal to be in shock because of holding hands with someone else. 

But not just anyone else. _Gerard Way_. 

He might have a _slight_ crush on him, despite not knowing much about him as a person. But that’s why it was just a crush. Nothing else.

After thinking about how little he truly knows about Gerard, something inside him just wants to know everything about him.

What his favorite food is, what the best thing that has ever happened to him was, just _everything_. 

Frank just hoped that Gerard still wanted to know more about him.

“Frankie, you there?” He was asked with a hand waving in front of his face.

He looked over to his side, noticing Gerard much closer to him now, but their hands were separated now. Gerard was looking at him with that same smile that he always does.

“You like totally zoned out. You were super focused on those clouds.” Gerard chuckled, making Frank groan embarrassedly and hiding his face in his hands.

“Sorry, that happens a lot when I’m thinking.”

“It’s okay. What were you thinkin’ about?” Gerard questions. 

Frank thought about it. He didn’t wanna tell him that he was thinking about wanting to know everything about the other, but at the same time he did. 

So instead of saying something like, “I was thinking about how I really wanna get to know you better” and be _truthful_ , he said, “That cloud looks like a penis.”

He pointed up to the sky, and both of their eyes were directed to a cloud that did in fact, look like a penis. 

Gerard let out a giggle, and Frank swore he just _died_. It was the cutest thing ever. 

“Yeah, it does. That one looks like an angel.” Gerard pointed to a different one, which made Frank’s eyes light up at a memory.

“My grandma always said that if you see a cloud that looks like an angel, it means God or your guardian angel is watching over you, or something.” Frank kept looking up at the cloud though, “She’s a crazy catholic woman. So is my mom.”

“My grandma used to be like that too. My mom was for a little bit, until she just stopped going to the church and stopped forcing Mikey and I to go too. She still says she believes in the faith, and she’s still catholic at heart. She’s just not very good at showing it.” Gerard told, looking at Frank as his gaze was still towards the sky.

“Wish my mom was like that, she still forces me out of bed to go every Sunday.”

The younger boy brought his eyes to meet Gerard’s and when he looked into them, he felt comfort. Like he didn’t have to feel nervous around him anymore. They both admired each other’s eyes for what felt like eternity, until Frank saw an eyelash fall onto the top of Gerard’s cheeks.

“You have something near your eye,” Frank said, picking his cold, gloved hand to poke a little near Gerard’s eye. He stared down at the eyelash that was now on his fingertip and decided on wiping it onto Gerard’s sleeve, causing the latter to laugh a little, which also made Frank break out into a tiny laugh, “What’s so funny?”

“I don’t even know what’s so funny, honestly. It was just super cute how you decided to wipe it on my sleeve instead of flicking it. _You’re_ just super cute, Frankie.” Gerard confessed. 

Frank looked down at his feet and bit his lip to try and contain a smile.

“Don’t look down, Frankie. I like seeing your face.” The older said, lifting Frank’s chin up with his finger.

“You’re sweet, Gee.”

“No one’s ever called me Gee except Mikey.” Gerard stated and moved to lie down on the hard surface.

“No one’s ever called me Frankie except Jamia.” Frank moved to lie down next to Gerard, putting himself close to the other subconsciously.

“Guess it’ll kinda just be our special thing, huh?” Gerard said, putting his arm under his head and laid on his side, and Frank did the same.

“I guess so.” He smiled.

They just laid there together for about another two hours talking about the movies and music they love, and getting into playful arguments about which Beatle is better.

Frank learned that they shared very similar music tastes such as Bring Me The Horizon, Misfits, Black Flag, and Pierce The Veil. Frank had asked if Gerard liked any of Lana Del Rey’s stuff to which Gerard responded with “Only that one song about the red dress and moonlight”.

Frank insisted that Gerard’s life would be complete if he listened to her, and so Gerard promised he’d give a listen right when he got home.

Frank’s mom had texted and asked where he was, so he replied, but then got a text telling him to go back home. 

The two boys stood in the grass near the sidewalk as they exchanged goodbye’s.

“I had a great time hanging out with you, Frankie. I’d like to do it again sometime, if you’re cool with that?” 

“I did too, Gerard. And of course we can do it again.”

“Awesome. I’ll have to talk to my mom- wow that sounds so lame-” Gerard chuckled looking down at his feet, but then looked back into Frank’s eyes, “but I’ll let you know, okay?”

“Okay,” Frank smiled, “Bye Gerard.” 

“Bye Frankie.” 

The two walked their separate ways, both had the biggest smiles on their faces as they walked to their own homes.

Frank arrived at his front door, pulling out his key and unlocking it. He took off his shoes once he was in, and went to tell his mom he was home.

“What’s got you so smiley for?” His mom immediately asked with a smile on her own face.

“I had a really nice day, that’s all.”

“That’s good, sweetheart. Food will be done in a little bit.” She told him and he nodded.

Frank walked back to his room and plopped down onto his mattress, still smiling. Then he felt his phone vibrate and saw there were messages from Gerard and Jamia.

_**jamia <3:** tell me everythinggHHHGAFGHJS_

_**g.weezy:** hi frankie, i know i already told you this, but i really had a great time with you_

_**g.weezy:** and i’m really serious about wanting to do it again, and i really wanna get to know u better_

_**g.weezy:** anyway, i gotta go now_

_**g.weezy:** until next time (;_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3074 words. hii ! i hope u guys like this chapter ! u know how i said i'd aim for around 2000-ish words? yeah... that turned into 3000. 3074 to be exact. it's crazy, and only took me around three days i think. anyway, i don't have much to say. well, i'm starting to have more hope for this story now that frank and gerard have actually hung out... anYWAY i hope u guys are doing great ! stay safe xoj


	9. ☥ Chapter 8 ☥

“Francine, wake up and get ready.” 

Frank groaned in confusion and rolled over to face his mom, who was peeking her head into his room. 

“C’mon, get up.” She demanded in a stern voice and left, keeping his door open just a crack. 

“Blah blah blah get up, let’s go praise Jesus.” Frank mocked and stuck his tongue out at his mom, even though she wasn’t there to see it and thankfully she didn’t hear him mumbling, “Man, fuck Jesus.”

Frank was slightly aggravated. He was every Sunday that he was forced to get out of bed at 7:30 in the morning, to go praise a God he doesn’t have faith in. And those angry feelings were even _more_ intensified due him having to bleed through a uterus that he wasn’t even supposed to have. And now that he was _awake_ , he could feel the pain in his lower region, like his bones were twisting up and rubbing against one another at the same time. 

He got out of bed and adjusted his pants and then walked to the bathroom. 

He got his business out of the way and then brushed his teeth, getting lost in his thoughts. After two minutes though, he was done and went back into his room to get changed.

One of the reasons why he hated going to church was because of the way he had to dress there.

Frank’s mother is Roman Catholic, and the church they attend is really old-fashion-Roman Catholic. Which means he is forced to wear what is believed to be ‘appropriate’ and ‘modest’ for going to church; a skirt and something to cover his head. 

Every. Single. Sunday. 

It’s not necessarily _required_ to wear a skirt, but his mom will get beyond pissed if he were to wear just a pair of jeans. He’s never really tried to wear anything other than a skirt to mass though, he’s been too scared of what his mom would do. 

She wasn’t abusive, but she always said an open hand slap wasn’t child abuse. And she wouldn’t hesitate to give him a hard slap on the cheek if he were to do that, sadly. 

So he just had to tough it out until he was able to stop going to church and just wear the longest black skirt, with black leggings underneath. The things that the women usually cover their heads with were veils, but they can also wear hats if they want, which Frank was really thankful for. Instead of wearing a hideous veil, he got to wear a comfy beanie- a black one though. He hated bringing attention to himself at that place, although people would stare at him like he was Satan himself, due to all of the black clothing.

He would just wear a plain black hoodie, not even _trying_ to look presentable, which his mom was disappointed in, but couldn’t do much about otherwise she wanted to hear his bitching and moaning about wearing ugly shirts she suggested to him. But Frank just thought that she should be happy he attends church with her in the first place and wears the constricting leggings and skirt.

The church they went to was in Cedar Grove, about a 20 minute drive from their house in Belleville. No one he knew from school- or anywhere else really- went to that church, thankfully. It was too far from where he lived. Plus, the church and his school were in different directions.

He finished getting dressed then went out to put his shoes on. He just wore his plain black Converse since his mom would always yell and get mad if he even thought of wearing the ones he’s vandalized with Sharpie. 

His mom was still putting her makeup on, so he sat on the couch and played on his phone while he waited. About five minutes later though, she was done and came out of her room with her purse around her shoulder. She slipped on her flats then they both left the house after Frank gave Sweet Pea a hug.

They both got into the car and put their seatbelts on. Frank pulled his headphones out and plugged them into his phone, turning on the playlist with the most hardcore and angry songs he knows. He loved listening to that playlist on the way to church because he loved getting lost in the harsh words they were singing and screaming out. As cliché as it sounded, he could really feel the lyrics personally, especially since he was off to a place he didn’t enjoy going to, and to where lies of bullshit were preached. It made the drive to church a little better.

He had to stop his music and pocket his phone and headphones once they pulled into the church’s parking lot. 

“The lot is packed. We might have to find a spot downstairs.” Linda said as she pulled into one of the last spots. 

Frank looked away from his mom and hid his smile. He hated actually sitting in the chapel of the church, and preferred the basement for a few reasons: Frank wouldn’t have to do all the kneeling and standing (he especially loved being able to skip those parts during high mass), he wouldn’t get stared down by everyone for not going to communion, and he just wouldn’t have to sit in the small and cramped pews. 

What did still suck about being in the basement was that he still had to hear the bullshit that the priest was spewing out because of the speaker in the ceiling. And it was a little harder to get away with sleeping because of his mom right there.

At least his grandma was out of town, otherwise he would have to stay even longer after mass because his mom loved talking to her after the service. They could go home right after mass and he would be able to stay in bed for the rest of the day. 

  
Frank was happy when the service ended. He asked his mom for the keys to the car right after she mentioned she had to use the restroom first. He did not want to stay and risk having to talk to the priest. 

That guy was _always_ on Frank’s ass any time he could talk to him. He always asked Frank questions he didn’t know how to answer; if he told the truth, it would probably get out to his mom and she would get angry. Sometimes he wanted to just tell him straight up that no, in fact Frank did _not_ watch The Passion of the Christ like he had suggested. And no, Frank did _not_ study the hymns to try and get into the choir. Plus, he had to address him as _Father_. And Frank cringed every time he had to call him that. Frank didn’t even want to be in there in the first place. 

Frank found his way to the car, managing to dodge every old lady that wanted to have a conversation with him about where his grandparents were up to. They always went to him when the older couple weren’t there, as if he knew everything. He opened his door, climbed in, then let out a sigh as he was finally in with the door closed. 

He took his phone out of his pocket and saw that Gerard and Jamia had messaged him. He opened the message from Jamia first because _bros before hoes_. 

She just asked if he wanted to hangout after he was out of church, to which he replied with, _‘i’ll ask my mom when she gets in da car’_. Then he opened Gerard’s messages.

_**g.weezy:** baby boo frnkie_

_**g.weezy:** wanna hang out at the park again?_

_**g.weezy:** fraaaaank answer ):_

_**g.weezy:** frankieromustdie please answer_

_**g.weezy:** i actually don’t like your username_

_**g.weezy:** frank iero must not die_

_**g.weezy:** frankie bb don’t tell me ur still sleeping_

Frank giggled and blushed at the silly nickname Gerard gave him. He started typing then heard the car door open.

“Sorry it took so long, hun. There were so many people down there it was terrible getting through them. They all wanted to talk to me about your grandma and grandpa.” His mom said as he looked up at him.

“It’s alright.” He said simply, and turned back to his phone, typing the rest of what he was going to say.

_**frankieromustdie:** sorry lol i was in church & i can’t have it in there_

_**frankieromustdie:** i can’t hang out tho cuz i’m going to jamia’s_

_**frankieromustdie:** but i like my username :(_

“Who’re you talking to?” Frank internally groaned at his mom’s question.

“Just a friend.” He responded.

“What’s their name? And where’d you meet them? It wasn’t online was it?” She asked more. His mom always wanted to know everything about who he was talking to. Not even in a genuinely curious way, she just wanted to know if it was someone she could tell him to stop talking to.

“His name’s Gerard and he goes to my school, mom.”

“Oh, okay.” She dropped the conversation, then Frank put his headphones in and turned back to his phone.

_**g.weezy:** aww frankie the little church boy_

_**g.weezy:** hey did u know jesus was circumcised_

_**frankieromustdie:** yeah my grandma told me when i was like 10_

_**frankieromustdie:** she was like “every good catholic must know of the circumcision of jesus christ”_

_**frankieromustdie:** it was the worst lecture she ever gave me. i’m still scarred_

_**g.weezy:** omg_

_**g.weezy:** i’m sorry but that’s like the funniest thing i’ve ever heard_

_**frankieromustdie:** shut up. it was terrifying ):_

“Can I go to Jamia’s today?” Frank suddenly asked his mom before he could forget.

“How’re you going to get there?” Linda responded with.

Knowing she won’t drive him, he shrugged and said, “I’ll just walk there.”

“Yeah, I suppose you can go, then.” 

Frank notified Jamia, letting her know he’d be over there after he gets home and changes out of his church clothes. 

_**g.weezy:** lmao omg i can just imagine u as a kid learning about circumcisions _

_**frankieromustdie:** like i said, it was terrifying ): she got way into detail_

_**frankieromustdie:** anyway i just want 2 forget that horrid day_

_**g.weezy:** i don’t blame u tbh_

_**g.weezy:** wanna see a pic of a cat i found on tumblr_

_**frankieromustdie:** u have a tumblr? _

_**frankieromustdie:** oh and yes i would love to see it_

_**g.weezy:** ik, kinda gay that i have a tumblr right_

_**g.weezy:** nah i’m just playin, even if it was considered gay to have a tumblr i wouldn’t care. cuz tumblr is fun and fresh. and there’s good quality pics of cats on tumblr_

Frank smiled at that comment Gerard had made. He didn’t know why it made his heart swell with joy. Everyone knows that Gerard’s openly bisexual, and he’s openly flirted with men at school. Maybe it was because he was such an open book, and he wasn’t afraid of just being _him_. And maybe it was because Frank really admired that about Gerard. And in some way, Gerard gave Frank some hope that maybe one day he wouldn’t feel so bad about who he is, and someday be able to _fully_ embrace who he is.

Or it was the fact that Gerard likes going on Tumblr for pictures of cats.

_**frankieromustdie:** yeah, i like the cat side of tumblr_

_**frankieromustdie:** but the lana del rey blogs… man those are just- *chef’s kiss*_

_**g.weezy:** u really love lana del rey, don’t u frankie_

_**frankieromustdie:** yeah lol_

_**frankieromustdie:** i love her with all of my heart. she is my mother effin queen_

_**g.weezy:** i listened to her yesterday_

Frank got really excited, but saw he arrived at home, so he quickly typed before he got out of the car. 

_**frankieromustdie:** really? which songs did u listen to??_

He quickly took the keys from where his mom had placed them and hopped out of the car. He walked up to the door and unlocked it, walking in and taking his shoes off. He threw the keys onto the table then went into his room, shut his door, and checked his phone once more.

_**g.weezy:** i think it was video games and salvatore and radio_

_**g.weezy:** there were more but those were the only titles i could remember_

_**frankieromustdie:** radio is so fricken good man_

_**g.weezy:** yeah, i honestly really enjoyed the songs i heard_

_**g.weezy:** really glad u told me to listen to her frankie (;_

_**frankieromustdie:** good. now i have someone to fanboy over her with_

_**frankieromustdie:** since jamia refuses to get into her for some reason_

_**frankieromustdie:** speaking of which, i need to get ready. sooo adios gee, i’ll talk to u later_

_**g.weezy:** bye bye frankie <3 have fun at jamias_

  
It didn’t take long for Frank to get changed and get to Jamia’s. He decided to ride his skateboard instead of just walking since it’s usually a 25 minute walk, and he was feeling lazy that day. He was just thankful that the snow had melted, there wasn’t any ice on the side walks, and it was warmer than usual. 

He knocked on the front door with numb fingertips, and a few moments later Jamia opened the door and Frank welcomed himself in, as he always does. 

“Is your mom home?” He asked as he took his shoes off. 

“Nope, we have the whole place to ourselves for the whole day. She’s at my grandma’s house with Evan too, so he won’t be bothering us at all.” She explained then asked, “How long is your mom letting you stay over?” 

Frank shrugged and said, “I dunno, my mom never gave me a specific time. So I assume she’ll just text me when she wants me back.”

“Sweet,” Jamia smiled. 

The two teenagers walked into Jamia’s room, and Frank went to sit on her bed while Jamia sat on the soft carpet next to her dresser. 

“I heard that Insidious is on Netflix now, wanna watch it?” Jamia asked, grabbing the remote to the TV.

“Hell yeah, dude.” Frank said.

Jamia climbed onto the bed next to Frank and the two got themselves situated and comfortable to watch the movie. The movie finally started after the beginning credits and they snuggled closer to their own blankets.

  
Throughout the movie, Frank and Jamia would try to make jokes out of their fear and laugh when the Red Demon showed up. 

As the end credits started though, Frank said, “That movie fucking _sucked_. It wasn’t even that scary.” 

Jamia laughed and shook her head in disbelief. “ _How_? You about shit yourself a few times.”

“Okay well- there just weren’t _enough_ scary parts. And the ending, dude. It was a terrible ending. Like what the _fuck_ happened to Josh?”

“Frank, it’s supposed to be a cliffhanger. There’s like two more movies.” Jamia said, trying to suppress her giggles.

“Well, it still sucks. Plus, it seemed like such a short movie.” He crossed his arms and fell onto his back, his head landing on the pillow in a crooked way. 

“Whatever, crybaby.” Jamia got up from her bed and walked towards her door, “Do you want any pop? Or food?”

“Anything with chocolate.” 

Jamia rolled her eyes with a smile on her face, and went to raid her kitchen. 

She came back with a box of chocolate chip cookies and Frank’s face lit up. He _loved_ cookies. 

The two friends ate cookies, talked, and just hung out for a few more hours until Frank received a text from his mom, telling him that she wanted him back home. He also checked the time and was surprised to see that it was already 5:45 pm. He’d been at Jamia’s for almost eight hours. He really didn’t want to leave, and he knew Jamia would totally let him sleep over. But his mom wouldn’t. Even though they both went to the same school, she never allowed sleepovers on school nights.

So Frank said his goodbye’s to Jamia and her family, since they arrived back home not too long before his mom had messaged. He quickly slipped on his shoes, gave Jamia a hug and then walked out the door, grabbing his skateboard.

As he walked down the driveway, he noticed leaves and sticks covering the sidewalks. He groaned in frustration because he absolutely _hated_ skating on sticks especially. Sometimes he would just get through it and risk falling and scraping his skin against the pavement, but he wasn’t in the mood to risk it. He was cramping and cold, and he just wanted to get home from the moment he stepped out of Jamia’s. He settled for walking though, and pulled his headphones and phone out. He plugged in his music, and made his way back to his house, clutching the pepper spray in his pocket out of habit. 

Soon enough, he was back home and walked through the front door with Sweet Pea greeting him. 

He went into his room and changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt, then laid down in his bed and opened up his phone.

But before he could open any messages, he heard his mom yell out to him.

“Francine, dinner’s ready!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys ! i'm super sorry it took like a month to finish and publish this chapter. it was really hard writing it because i had lost motivation during it so many times. and i said i would post it like almost a week ago, but i didn't finish it till now & i ended up getting sick lmao. but it's here !! it's one of the longest i've written, it's 2985 words & i'm really surprised with how long it is. i'm sorry that not a lot happened in it lmao, it's a really big filler & i think that's why it was one of the hardest to write. but i'm just really glad i'm done with it. i hope u enjoyed it !! xøj


	10. Chapter 9

Frank and Gerard had been texting more and hanging out more as each day passed by. And so Frank was a little disappointed to see that Gerard hadn’t been in school for the whole week. Though, he might’ve been overreacting, as it was only Wednesday. So he was hoping that Gerard would be there today. 

Frank continued thinking of Gerard all throughout the morning as he got ready and on his walk to school. When he arrived, he saw Jamia waiting at the front entrance with earbuds in, as he does every day. He walked up to her and pulled one of her buds out, making her face turn into an angry frown until she saw who it was.

She immediately smiled and said, “You scared the shit out of me. I thought I was gonna have to punch you.”

“Yeah, I thought you were gonna punch me too.” Frank said as they walked into the building together.  
  
The two walked to Jamia’s locker first so she could get whatever she needed for her first class. It was a routine for them at this point, though neither really cared. They both actually quite liked it, it made them both feel secure for some odd reason that even they couldn’t figure out. 

But they couldn’t stick together all day like they would’ve liked to. Frank and Jamia had to go separate ways once class started. They said their goodbyes and made their way to their own classrooms.

The day continued on surprisingly quick, and Frank was expecting choir to be just as quick, especially since it’s his last class and they always seem to end quickly. 

He walked into the music room, which was only a tad bit noisy, it usually was before class started. Frank walked to his assigned seat and sat down, putting his folder below it. 

He pulled out his phone and started scrolling through tumblr, liking and reblogging posts he saw about cute dogs. His attention was stolen by someone sitting down in the seat next to him though. He looked up and saw it was Gerard, smiling down at him. The younger boy shut his phone off and smiled back, his cheeks turning pink at the eye contact they held. 

“Hiya handsome.” The taller boy said, making Frank turn his head down and let out a breathy laugh.

“Hi Gee.” He said and looked back up, admiring the twinkle in Gerard’s hazel eyes. Frank was slowly getting used to Gerard’s flirty comments and compliments with the more that they spent time together. 

“I haven’t seen you in forever, Frankie. Did you miss me?” 

“It’s been like, three days; no I haven’t missed you.” That was a complete lie. He really did miss him. Does that make him clingy? 

No, he’s just happy that he has another _friend_ . A friend that he thinks is so beautiful and divine. A friend that he’s starting to trust so much, he feels he could tell him _everything_. A friend that sometimes gets so close to his face, he thinks it wouldn’t be hard to just lean in and- 

_No_ . Well… okay _maybe_ Frank has thought about kissing him. _Maybe_ Frank really really does want to kiss him. Like a lot. 

He realizes he’s lost in thought and staring when Gerard is speaking again.

“Oh, come on. So you didn’t miss me like, at all?” Frank shook his head no at that. “Well, I’ll have you know that _I_ missed you dearly.” 

Frank was going to respond to that, but the bell had already rung, indicating that the class was starting. So he just scoffed and shook his head, listening as the teacher spoke. 

When class ended, he said his goodbye to Gerard quickly, and the taller boy promised he would text him. He really just wanted to get home and chill out.

He was crying. And she was yelling. 

His mom and himself had an argument, he doesn’t even know _why_. 

After it, he was still crying and curled up in his bed. His mom came in once more though.

“I’m leaving for the night. You can make yourself dinner, I’ll probably be back after you get home from school tomorrow.”

He mumbled an ‘okay’ and then she left, slamming his door a little too hard that made him jump. 

He waited till he heard the front door close and her car leave the driveway to get up and get dressed. 

Frank sniffled as he pulled on sweatpants and the biggest hoodie that he owns. He was still very upset, and probably would be for the rest of the night. So he figured, why not be sad _and_ enjoy fresh air at the park?

He made sure to grab his keys and beanie, and quickly slipped on his shoes. He said goodbye to Sweet Pea and gave her a pat on her head before he went out the door and locked it. 

He had Born To Die playing softly through his headphones on his way there. He made his way onto the play set though, where he and Gerard had cloud gazed the other day ago.

He sat down and took out his ear buds, thankful that no one was around as he let tears flow freely down his face. 

He ended up laying down on his back, crossing his arms over his eyes and continued to cry until he heard a worried, “Frank?”

He wiped his eyes with his arms and sat up, looking at where the voice came from. Gerard stood in front of him, a sad and worried look upon his face as he saw Frank’s tear stained sleeves and puffy eyes. 

The crying boy tried calming himself and hiccuped, averting his gaze to his lap.

“Hey, Gerard.” He said, wiping his cheeks again, keeping his head down.

“Frankie, what’s goin’ on?” Gerard sat down next to him, and that’s when he noticed something in the taller boy's hand.

“Nothing- it’s nothing really.” He looked up and gave Gerard a fake smile. “What’re uh, what’re you doing here?”

The worry never left Gerard’s face though, “I came here to smoke,” he said, lifting the thing in his hand, “don’t really wanna be around Mikey with this.”

“That doesn’t look like a cigarette.” 

“Yeah um, it’s- it’s _not_.” He chuckled, “It’s a joint.” 

“ _Oh_. That’s cool…” Frank trailed off as he saw Gerard take a hit off of it and _oh_ _that’s hot._

_The way his fingers grip it, how he tipped his head back and inhaled… Jesus that man is perfect._

Frank was brought out of his trance as Gerard looked at him again, “What’re _you_ doing out here, Frankie? It’s like, almost the negatives and you’re _crying_.” 

“I- I guess I just wanted some fresh air. And just to get o-out and away.” His voice trembled as he remembered _why_ he was crying. “I was thinking about going back, but you’re here now and I don’t wanna be alone.” He said softly.

“I can go with you.”

“Wh-What?” 

“To your house; I can go with you if you want, y‘know so you don’t have to be alone.” Gerard softly nudged Frank’s shoulder with his own, giving him a soft smile. He was glad to see he got one from the younger in return.

“I- Okay. Yeah, I would- I would like that.” 

The two walked in a comfortable silence all the way to Frank’s house. 

The smaller boy was so tempted to grab Gerard’s hand after he had disposed of what was left of his joint, but held himself back. 

Soon enough they had arrived and were inside. 

“Sorry about all of the shoes. I’m kinda a shoe slut.” Frank mentioned and Gerard laughed. “Are you hungry? Or- Or thirsty?” 

“No I’m not, but thank you, love.” Frank flushed a bright red at the name that was given to him.

“Do you um, wanna hang out in my room? I think Sweet Pea might be in there.” 

“Sure, Frankie.” 

So Frank led Gerard back to his room and flicked on his light. Sure enough, Sweet Pea was huddled up in Frank’s bed. 

“Sorry it’s kinda messy, I was too lazy to pick up and y'know, didn’t really expect anyone coming over.” He said as he plugged in the strip of lights, giving off a soft vibe and hue throughout his room as he switched off the main light. 

“It’s okay, Frankie, I don’t mind it.” 

“Uh, here I’ll move Sweet Pea so you can sit down.” He easily scooped up the tiny dog in his arms and brought her out of his room. He closed the door when he went back in and went over to. 

“Do you mind if I play this?” Frank asked, holding up his Lana Del Rey vinyl.

“Not at all, play whatever you want.” So he did. 

Once the first track started playing Frank sat on his bed across from Gerard.

He noticed the older boy staring at him with a smile on his face.

“What?” He let out a breathy laugh.

“I’m just admiring you.”

“Why?”

“Because, you’re _admirable_.”

“You really think so?” 

“Love, I _know_ so.”

Frank’s face was extremely red, but he couldn’t find the strength to look down like he usually does. Instead he studied Gerard’s face.

“Well then- then I think you’re _beautiful_.”

It was Gerard’s turn to flush red this time.

“ _Beautiful_?” 

“Yeah, you’re so _so_ beautiful, and pretty, Gee.”

“No one’s ever called me that before, Frankie. Thank you.” 

Frank tipped his head down, a smile on his lips though. He was shocked when fingers were hooked under his chin.

“Why do you always look down, Frankie?”

He stared at the other boy and shrugged. 

“It’s just a habit I guess. I- I think sometimes I’m just too scared to keep my head up in times when I- I feel vulnerable.” He explained. “And I feel vulnerable around you. In a good way, of course. It just still kind of scares me. Even _telling_ you this is just terrifying, but I _like_ it. I feel like I can tell you anything.” _Even my biggest secret,_ “And I- well, in a way I hope that you feel the same.”

“I do! I- I completely feel the same, Frank. And I get it; the feeling of vulnerability ‘n all. I get it. A-And yeah, I feel the same. There’s so much that I’ve already told you that I really haven’t told anyone, and there’s still more that I wanna tell you.”

“Then- Then tell me more right now. I- I wanna hear everything you can think of, and maybe I'll tell you anything.” Frank didn’t know where this confidence had come from, but he wasn’t hating it at all.

And so Frank laid down, Gerard doing the same. He listened to everything Gerard told him, from how his grandma had always been his biggest inspiration, and to what him and his younger brother used to do as kids. Frank _loved_ it. 

After a couple minutes though, one of Frank’s favorite songs came on. Video Games. 

He sprung up, spooking Gerard for a moment.

“Dude this is my _favorite_ song.” He noticed Gerard’s expression and giggled, “sorry for scaring you, but you _have_ to listen to this one.” 

The shorter boy went over to his record player and turned it up. When he turned around, he saw Gerard stood up and had a hand extended out to him.

“Would you care to join me for a dance, kind sir?” The ravenette boy said with a smile.

“Well, I thought you would never ask. I would love to.” Frank took his hand and they started swaying and dancing to the music.

_Swinging in the backyard, pull up in your fast car whistling my name._

_Open up a beer and you say, “Get over here and play a video game.”_

They’re close, _so close_. Gerard has a firm yet slightly loose grip on Frank’s hips, while Frank has his hands wrapped loosely around the other’s neck, because he was slightly too short to be able to wrap his arms around. 

They’re staring into each other’s eyes, fond smiles on their lips.

_I say, “You the bestest”. Lean in for a big kiss._

_Put his favorite perfume on, go play your video game._

Frank swore he saw Gerard’s eyes flicker to his lips, he wanted to lean in, but was so _so_ scared.

“Frankie?” Gerard asked in a soft but low voice.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ever gonna tell me about why you were crying today?”

Frank looked at his hands, and grabbed a strand of Gerard’s hair, twirling it through his fingers.

“Can I save that for another day?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Don’t have to rush it, I was just wondering.” Gerard offered a genuine and understanding smile, and Frank returned it.

“Thank you.”

_It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you. Everything I do._

_I tell you all the time, heaven is a place on Earth with you._

_Tell me all the things you wanna do._

_I heard that you like the bad girls. Honey, is that true?_

“Y’know, I kinda feel bad for not really telling you much today.” Frank said, “Well I mean, I did technically but I didn’t open up about much.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But- But I want to, and I will. Not all right now, but there’s something I _really_ do want to- to say.” His fingers were still laced in his hair, but his eyes darted back up to Gerard’s hazel ones. Gerard just hummed. “I think I’m feeling something. Like- Like something in my heart. I don’t- I don’t really know _how_ to explain it, but- I like someone Gee.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah I do.” His voice trailed into a whisper, leaving it at that as they danced.

_Kissin’ in the blue dark._

_Playin’ pool and wild darts, video games._

_He holds me in his big arms-_ Gerard’s grip slightly tightened on Frank’s waist- _drunk and I am seeing stars._

_This is all I think of._

Gerard leaned in and kissed him. _Finally_. It was short, a quick one to test the waters.

The older boy looked anxiously at the younger, hoping he didn’t read him wrong, _almost_ about to pull away and apologize and get ready to leave- but he was pulled in again by the small hands on his neck.

They pulled each other closer, trying to get as close as possible as they let their lips dance together.

_It’s better than I ever even knew._

_They say that the world was built for two._

_Only worth living if somebody is loving you._

_And, baby, now you do._

They pulled away, both of them trying to catch their breath and process that.

“I really hope that someone was me.” Gerard lightly joked to break the silence and awaiting awkwardness.

Frank smiled, feeling so _comfortable_ and content, “Yes, it’s you, dimwit.”

“Dimwit? So that’s what you really think of me?” Gerard faked being hurt, “Frankie that- wow. I can’t believe you.”

That made Frank giggle and lead Gerard back to his bed so they were both sitting on it again.

“Just shut the fuck up and kiss me again, _dimwit_.”

And so he did. He moved Frank into his lap so he was straddling him and made it comfier for the both of them. 

There were only lips involved, but Frank wanted _more_. And it seemed that Gerard read his mind because the older bit down gently on Frank’s bottom lip and ran his tongue across it.

Frank gasped, the feeling of someone else’s _lips and teeth_ in his own lips was so foreign, but so _so_ welcomed. 

As his lips were parted from his gasp, Gerard’s tongue made an entrance. He let him take control, allowing Gerard to roam and explore every part of his mouth. 

Their tongues clashed, and it sparked something in both of them. 

Frank whimpered and accidentally let his hips jerk, he felt how Gerard’s grip had tightened again. 

Their tongues danced and their breathing got heavier, Frank subconsciously rocking his hips into Gerard’s. He felt Gerard’s hand traveling under his shirt and panicked.

He moved his hands down to Gerard’s, stopping them and pulling away

“Is- Is everything okay? Did I- I go too far Frankie?” Gerard asked, worry laced in his voice.

“Hey, no you’re alright,” he gave a quick peck to the others lips to reassure him, “just maybe, maybe not _there_?”

Gerard sighed in relief and smiled, “Of course honey. Is- Is everything else okay?”

“It’s perfect Gerard.” 

Their lips met again and Gerard moved Frank so he was laying on his back, his head on his pillow. 

Gerard crawled ontop and attacked his lips over and over, making Frank let out the most contagious fit of giggles between kisses. 

“You let me know if I’m going too far, alright?” Gerard said, giving Frank a hard but loving stare that made his stomach coil.

“I will.” He nodded.

The taller boy went back to work on his lips, then started trailing kisses down Frank’s jaw until he reached his neck. 

“Am I allowed to leave marks?” The question made Frank let out a quiet moan.

“Preferably around more towards my- my collarbones.” 

“Got it, sweetheart.”

Gerard kisses his neck sweetly, making Frank trail his fingers into his hair again, lightly pulling on the strands. 

It was when Gerard bit down on the younger boy’s collarbone that he let out a pained yet pleasure filled whimper, bucking his hips into nothingness. 

They continued like that for two more minutes, then Gerard reconnected their lips again. 

“So, I don’t really know if it’s obvious but I like you too, Frankie.” He said against Frank’s lips, making him throw his head back and laugh.

“Wow, I honestly didn’t know, Gee! I mean it’s not like you kissed me so hard that you literally took my breath away!” He joked along. 

Gerard laughed and moved back, admiring his work on Frank’s olive skin, then kissed him once more and laid next to him. He smiled when Frank curled up next to him, wrapping an arm around his torso.

They stayed like that for a while, listening to the music and cuddling, until Frank spoke. 

“Gee?”

“Hm?”

“What does- What are we now?”

“Anything you want.”

“Is it- Is it okay if I don’t- don’t want it labeled yet?” 

“As long as you’re comfortable, it’s okay.”

_Now you do..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! sorry it took like 7 ish months for this chapter to come out :( i went through a rlly bad writers block & then depression & anxiety & then school started and, basically life was just really hectic (still is sometimes lmao) but it's out!! and it's 3084 words!! my longest chapter yet! i'm so proud of this chapter and i'm really hoping it was worth the wait! i will be working on the next chapter soon! i have lots of things i want to include in here and i have a sense of where i really want this to go now. also happy 1 year to this book being out! i don't remember the exact date i put out the prologue, but i know it was January 2020, so kinda over due now lmao. but imma sign off here! i hope u like it, and pls let me know what u think! feedback is always so nice to hear :) i cant wait for the next chapters!!  
> xøj


End file.
